Pass Go Collect Nachos

Munroe's Penitentiary is a bar on the North Shore of Massachusetts.  They have great deals on almost any draft beer, including chicken wings, but they are famous for nachos, which they take pride in.  Years ago, the old jail served 30 to 60 pre-trial sentences when it was a county lockup since before the Civil War. There is seating on every level of the building in the old cells; I believe old misery is hanging in the air.

I'm looking at the menu, and there is a Penitentiary Panini, Run For The Border Nachos, In The Wind Wings, Over The Wall Burgers, Chocolate Cake with no file inside, A Tunnel To Tuna Sandwich, Shiv Me Sliders, Roll Call Chili, Screw Steaks. 

The daily special is called The Warden's Pick. Today's pick is Warden Ben Dover's Mac N Cheese w/lobster. I'm leaning toward Nachos as soon as happy hour kicks in.

I'm having a tall PBR draft and a basket of chisel tortilla chips with tangy fight-or-flight salsa while I review today's wild ride on the NASDAQ.

A lot is going on. I have a child on the way, and my father-in-law will soon host an old-fashioned shotgun wedding in Tennessee. Eve is starting to show and wants to walk down that aisle as quickly as possible. Mr. Crowder is loading up the rock salt.

I need to start taking bold steps to discover what Headslam Blue is at Bridgewater AI/REM. It is clear that the project is compartmentalized, perhaps in multiple Bridgewater locations, and everything is on a need-to-know level.

A deep dive search about the guy who trapped and released me from the Lamborghini Conference room revealed what I suspected based on overpowering cheap cologne and a short-sleeved button-down shirt. (You can never scrub a D.C. posting out of old-school types.) 

Coley is a good guy based on his social profiles and resume.  

He's been with Bridgewater since before the I.P.O. He is still establishing his brand on his troops. Before Bridgewater, he was in a similar position with a large-cap tech company. 

Why did he leave that world-class assignment, you ask? I dove into his then-hometown news and found what had to be a fun evening in Southern California. He got a D.W.I. with a couple of other employees in the car. He did the perfunctory rehab stint, but the company could not forgive the role model offense of having that night with direct subordinates. He resigned.

Coley O'Toole was a career F.B.I. employee with postings in D.C., Boston, and Detroit for over 30 years. He graduated from The College Of The Holy Cross in Worcester, Massachusetts. It's an F.B.I. feeder school, And then The University Of Virginia Law School. That makes him a Crusader-Cavalier from Elk Grove, Illinois, with no sports, drama club, or chess club. Coley seemed focused on joining the F.B.I., most likely since age 12. That's many wasted years being a pious do-gooder when most people live with some zest.  And the Frank Burns Award goes to...

He's got two adult kids, a grandchild, and a wife from Elk Grove who knits "poodle toilet paper covers," according to her Etsy account. I will ask Eve to put three of those in our registry account.

I'm peering over my menu, looking at the entrance, waiting for a contingent from The Research and Development Department at Bridgewater to arrive. Today, when I was clearing more paper airplanes and Diet Coke bottles from their area, Martha invited me to Munroes later. "Everyone is going to be there!"

Two drafts later, Martha entered with six, no eight people, all from R & D. Carl was with them. Today, paper airplanes launched at Carl motivated him to leave his seat and screens.

They were seated at one of the large tables, which was, at one time, the jail cafeteria. I'll let everyone get one deep before I approach.

If you ever thought about Immersion work as a profession, remember that it requires patience and good listening skills. You listen more than you speak, and if you are good, your targets will open up. You don't walk up saying, "Okay folks, WTF is Headslam Blue?"  

What do I need to learn on this visit?

What is Headslam Blue?

A few minutes later, I squared up with my waitress, who wore a prison uniform that showed a lot on top. I gave her a 30% tip. Remember, when confronted with one of those tip request screens, if you sit, then tip. If you stand and are buying coffee or something, bypass that extortion request.

I walked up to the table, and Martha saw me first. TROY! I'm so glad you came. Everyone said hi, and I shook hands with each person when I was introduced. At one time or another, back at the ranch, I have spoken to each person in the group, even Carl, who I was now sitting next to.

"I freaking love this place," I said

"I hope we are all sentenced to "beer and nachos."

The whole group laughed, and Martha poured me something amber from a chilled pitcher.

The cross chatter started. Sports talk and a few things about the C.E.O. caused everyone to stop talking and listen.

The group was slamming Candace left and right, and Martha did a perfect impression of her, saying, "No Cell Phones, No Fun, ​work, work work."

As the beer lubricated the work-weary, I leaned into Martha's shoulder. I said, "The other day on the fourth floor, I got sealed in the Lamborghini conference room by security for getting too close to Candace's chair. They freaking locked me in until some big shot came down to "talk to me."

Martha started laughing hard and said, "Hey, everyone, listen to this fourth-floor bullshit that happened to Troy."

As I relayed the story and they all laughed, I knew I would get what I needed tonight.

I took another sip and listened more than I spoke. The word Headslam happened twice, and I looked at Martha with a confused look each time it was said.

This moth is getting close to the flame.

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