New Shoes

Stamford, Connecticut - The Condominium Of Dennis Mendocino - The Mixtape Serial Killer

The pain and bruising were starting to subside. Dennis could not believe that he had to get over one hundred stitches from a wound caused by what looked like a high-grade steak knife. He had to give Hannah some credit. Even though she was a shitty dancer, she had caught him by surprise with the knife. His mistake was being fixated by the frying pan for just half a second.  He never saw her retrieve the knife or stab him. 

What a saucy little HFAC graduate she was, he thought.  She was defiant from beginning to end.  Had she gone for the front door instead of the glass sliders, she may have made it outside, and at that point, Dennis was in no shape to play "Chase Me Catch Me" in some seaside town. 

He was losing too much blood, and it was everywhere when he danced with Hannah and sang to her. Oh, those Abernathy girls, he thought.

The pros examine what they did wrong and improve their game.  Dennis was a tactician and is now a professional serial killer, and he had to be honest with his approach to Hannah.  Three things...

1) He did not stick with what he knew worked. He was 3-0 when he approached his date from behind. He got cocky and let Hannah walk into the kitchen and see him there. He will stick with what worked in the future—the element of surprise.

2) He underestimated his date's strength and willingness to fight back. Hannah's mannerisms resembled those of a Honey Badger. She did not give a fuck about him being in her kitchen. 

It was a situation she thought she could handle. She almost did. 

It was rude of her to throw the cassette player in the house, but Dennis reminded himself it was her house.

He will never underestimate the abilities and mannerisms of another date. Those characteristics are what attracted him to her in the first place. 

He must never take a dancer for granted.

3) Dennis realized that his dance with Hannah was horrible. He needed the music and was out of tune when he started singing. 

If Hannah were still alive, he would ask her to forgive this, but he would politely remind her that she broke the cassette player. 

Maybe as a "just in case" thing, he would bring his choral pitch pipe to future dates. 

Being off-key made things tawdry and not very fun. 

He did not do justice to what is still a pretty good song. He tried to put a little side hitch in his dance moves, like in the video, but it did not look good with all the blood spurting out of his side. 

The protruding knife handle didn't add romance to the mood either. 

Jeffrey Dahmer had his screwups. One time, he drank a drug-laced cocktail that was intended for his victim. That guy got away.

Bundy left too many witnesses.

Dennis looked up, crossed himself, and swore to God that he would improve his game.

The nice Strip Mall Emergency Room nurses bought his story about the hedge clippers. Smearing his blood on them added realism. They x-rayed him, told him he was lucky, and then stitched him up. His bruising around the eyes was lighter, and his head wound did not need stitches.

Maybe another week to practice, and The Love Machine will go to Darien.

Today, he would shop for a new pair of dancing shoes, order a pizza, watch wrestling, and look for his pitch pipe.

It's going to be a busy day for sure.

He wondered if Petra was thinking of him.

Bowers Lane, Darien, Connecticut - The Home Of Petra Schultz

Wally was confident that the Connecticut State Police would be here soon with a plan and someone to replace him as he guarded Petra.  Wally, a staid professionals, professional was thinking about ways he could have an "accident" with his service weapon and send a sizzler toward Petra.

He was plotting the report he had to do regarding his time at Petra's house, and he thought about how he could make the phrase OVERBEARING ASSHOLE softer and in line with federal reporting guidelines. Every word he wrote in the report was subject to possibly being read without redaction due to FOIA - The Freedom Of Information Privacy Act.

In recent years, Wally has seen agents called on the carpet for politically incorrect text messages, off-hand comments to co-workers, or even suspects.

Wally himself was no angel. He had been dragged into the HRB (Human Resource Branch) three times in his eleven-year career. Usually, a new employee with new shoes complains to HR about Wally being too candid, too on point, and, most of all, not politically correct. All the new agents go through the wringer with Wally. They come to the Chelsea Field Office believing all the CYA (Cover Your Ass)  bullshit that they were told in the Academy, and they try to do things "By the Book."

They complain when Wally lets fly with the F word, The AH word, and his favorite "Douche Bags." That's just how it is. His first talk with an agent usually involves Wally handing the complainer a box of tissues.

The new agents do not want to work with anyone else within a year. If they keep their eyes, ears, and inner ears open, they realize how street-smart Wallace Q. Hughes is and that new agents better tune into the streets and crime. 

There is nothing sugar-coated out in the real world, and the Academy does Agents a disservice in their zeal to keep the asses of the desk types out of trouble.

Wally is the best, yet he still wants to give Petra Shultz another hole to breathe with.

Wally stands up, looks out the living room window, and then texts the CSP liaison officer.

WALLACE HUGHES TEXT: ETA FOR RELIEF?

CSP: TEN MINUTES - ON THE WAY!

The next ten minutes were going to be trying for Wally.

"Wally, do I look better in this green top or the light blue one I wore yesterday?"  "Do you want more toast?" "I'm mixing Mimosas to kick off the day. Mine are special; you can hardly taste the Orange Juice." "How was the sofa?" "Do you think someone will try to kill me?" "Do you like The Giants or the Jets?" "Do you watch Real Housewives?"

Tick Tock, Tick Tock.

#serialkillers